 |
Music •
Biography •
Press Kit •
Randomness •
Lyrics Gigs • Photos • Writing • Fun Stuff • Links • Contact |
Sunday, December 14, 2003 La nature de la poursuite I want to marry a man who is a leader, who takes charge and who goes for the things he wants. I don’t ever want to have to ask myself, “Would he have come to me on his own?” --Lauren Koffler I recently ran across this article while browsing through Relevant Magazine and found it--and the mass of comments posted by readers underneath--rather interesting food for thought. Although I don't have any problem taking the initiative in friendships and think it was silly of the author to have been so hesitant to call or talk to the man she found intriguing, Lauren Koffler does touch on some truth: most women, even independent, headstrong types, do want men to take leadership. For me--and I know I'm not the only one--it's something of a counter to my tendency to take over. I don't like being in charge all the time. (Really? Yes.) Admittedly, I don't know how this idea plays out for less stubborn types, but a relationship should be a partnership and when one partner domineers things can get sticky. A male friend asked me why girls enjoy being pursued; besides the obvious--that it's flattering to have someone notice you--I couldn't give a ready answer. But as I've thought about it, a few come to mind. (However, guys take note that some of you need to learn how to relax, because there's a line between pursuing and annoying that you should not cross.) We want to know that we are treasured, that we are important, that we have worth; or as one anonymous poster wrote, "I want someone that wants me enough to take a risk. We are talking about the person we are going to spend the rest of our lives with. I need to be sure of his commitment to me." As Niles on Frasier said, "Women want men of action." Maybe this is because we want to be protected, safe--even if we would never choose a "safe" life (quite frankly, the thought of waking up one day and finding myself in suburbia driving the kids to soccer practice scares the heck out of me). But there's comfort in knowing that your husband could and would confront the belligerent drunk harassing you, that he would give his life to protect you. We're still looking for those knights in shining armor, even if they don't exist. (Note: This blog was likely the result of hearing about too many weddings happening this year or the next. I lost count at 24, and we're well past that now....) ^ Top | 10:55 PM | | | 
|
