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Tuesday, May 17, 2005 Struggling to Matter It's strange to think that a science fiction series can be metaphorical comfort food--but there’s something about a well-written story with real character development that becomes engrossing and thought-provoking, not just distraction. Yesterday I was feeling down and ended up watching far too much Babylon 5; I over-indulged myself, but much of thematic material came at an opportune time. None of these sentiments are particularly unique--it’s very human to resonate with the desire to make an impact in the world around us, to accomplish something of importance, to leave a legacy. Characters on the show are in positions where they literally change the course of history, but even if we do not leave such a large mark, who doesn’t want to leave something indelible in the world around us? To be a name that is remembered amongst a group long after we’ve left? It’s also innate to long for unconditionality in our relationships. There’s a scene in which Delenn is about to face her past, in particular a moment of grief where she cast the deciding vote to wage a holy war that resulted in the near-extinction of humanity and incredible loss of life from her own (alien) people, a moment she has been trying to atone for in the years that followed the war. She’s kept it a secret from those now close to her, and when she is called home to answer for an unrelated decision she knows that piece of her past may reveal itself and tries to go alone, quietly. But Lennier refuses to allow her to leave without him; he had, as her friend, pledged to be by her "side through fire, storm, darkness, and death--could knowledge be worse?" She answers, "In this case, yes." But seeing his determination, she allows him to journey home with her, and is grateful for the company. In another scene one character literally gives his life in order to save that of another; a machine transfers his life-force into a dying friend who isn’t even conscious enough to know what he’s doing, isn’t conscious enough to hear his whispered "I love you." Who doesn’t long for such devotion, such loyalty, such unconditionality? Such willingness to lay everything on the line? A Christian will respond that you can find that in God, which, while true, neglects the fact that we were also created for community, for relationships with each other--and therein lies the difficulty. Of all my friends, I’m really only close to people I met in college, and not everyone I once considered close still falls into that category. Disconnectedness comes too easily, even when we fight against it. And I’m not sure why. ^ Top | 11:54 PM | | | 
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