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Thursday, February 23, 2006 Musings Perhaps it's just melancholy. I got an email yesterday from my friend Cat, who's leaving Ann Arbor--she was offered a promotion on Friday, decided to take it on Monday, and is leaving in a few days for the west side of the state. Tonight I stopped by her going away party at Arbor Brewing Company and couldn't help but wonder how many people will realize that I've left town when I move to Chicago in the spring--and to be honest, these musings seem a little self-absorbed, perhaps even silly, in light of my schedule today (which included going to Cafe Felix with Strobe, Sasha, and James, dinner with Hester, a dance concert with Art, and playing music with Strobe and Tom). But I can't help but think about it anyway. I wonder if I've done the right thing, staying in Ann Arbor so long, getting rather disconnected from its goings-on over the last half a year. On the one hand, traveling so much keeps me from getting stir-crazy, which happens easily, and I love visiting friends in other cities and the adventures in general. I've stayed here two years longer than I originally planned. On the other, I've been gradually distancing myself from friends and groups here--and it's a consequence that in many ways was never intentional. But when you're rarely home on the weekends, you fall out of "the loop." It's a part of life, but I've always thought it's sad how easy it is to stop being a part of others' reality--sure, you may have once been close, but now you're a few steps away from not existing. That's how it feels with a lot of my old friends from InterVarsity--they're in town, I'm in town, but we don't see much of each other or make efforts to. I guess another part of the story that makes me a little wistful is that part of the reason Cat is moving is to be nearer her boyfriend. Last year at this time she was still dating her ex, and they were serious too--but it looks like this one is really going to be it, which makes me wonder about myself and whether I'll find the One. We like to tell people that someone is out there for them, and Christians are fond of spiritualizing that into "God has someone planned for you" or even better, "God created someone for you"--but we never say, "God might want you to be single your entire life, but if that happens it will be ok, because it will be where you're most happy, most fulfilled." Few people want to hear that, even though it's more true than the plastic drivel we're fond of spewing. Very few people don't want to get married one day, and it's weird to watch so many people younger than you taking the plunge (granted, I think this would be less of an issue if I knew less Christians, because they tend to get married younger--read: right out of college). While I'm happy for all of those engaged and married friends, things don't look like they're headed that way in my immediate future. Maybe my life just doesn't seem exciting in comparison to friends who have spent almost a year backpacking in Europe. Although I know the whole music thing sounds exotic enough to most people, and I really do enjoy it. I love spending so much time in Chicago, and the "real job" seems promising enough, at least as it relates to time I can spend pursuing my singer-songwriter career. So for the most part, I'm reasonably content where I am--but at night it's so easy to muse about all the what-ifs. ^ Top | 10:49 PM | | | 
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