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Wednesday, October 18, 2006 Songs that Matter, Part III: Vienna Teng When I was first introduced to Vienna Teng, I wondered if I’d found my doppelganger. There was another piano-playing, folk-pop with hints of jazz, Chinese-American singer-songwriter using a name not entirely her own. And she had more notoriety than me. Hopefully there’s room for two of us in the American musical landscape, because I love her music. One summer, two of Vienna’s songs resonated strongly with me. That spring I’d been dumped by the man I thought I was going to marry and I was trying to deal with the loss of our relationship—but more importantly, the loss of our friendship. He’d been my best friend, but at that point he didn’t even know how to interact with me anymore. I longed for the depth of friendship we had, and Gravity seemed to encapsulate the entire situation. The Tower described me then—and in many ways, does even now. "She says I need not to need / or else a love with intuition / someone who reaches out to my weakness and won't let go / I need not to need / I've always been the tower." One of the reasons I write and play music is because I have difficulty being vulnerable, with allowing others to see through what are often characteristic masks, but need an outlet for emotions that I otherwise refuse to display. I hate admitting that I need help, and literally only a handful of people outside of my immediate family ever saw me cry after the age of seven. That summer I longed for someone who would see that underneath a smiling, laughing exterior, I was drowning. "Reach out / but hold back / where is safety / reach out / and hold back / where is the one who can save me / where is the one?" In the end, it took December to finally heal. ^ Top | 11:29 PM | | | 
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